Words. Don’t come easy, to me….

Image

I’ve got writer’s block.

 

For four consecutive days, I have written posts that, had they been written on paper, would have been screwed up and thrown with vicious force across the room. Some were a few lines long; others were just about ready for publishing, but all went down the plug-hole with a quick tap on the delete button.

 

I have tried to write about my kids, my feelings, Miley Cyrus; you know, all the important things. But nothing is happening. It doesn’t flow. Everything I write is boring. And, let’s face it, if it is boring me to the point where gouging my eyes out would be a better alternative than having to read one more word; then, hey, it ain’t doing a lot for my readers (all two of them).

 

It doesn’t help that old blog envy is resurfacing again (again? When did it ever leave?). Everyone, everywhere, is producing ingeniously hilarious work, or words so full of emotion that they literally leave a gaping hole where your heart used to be. All this, completely in their stride; not so much as a hint of heavy breathing, nor a drop of sweat on their totally unfurrowed brow. Why is it so easy for them, and so hard for me? What did they ever do that was so great? Apart from write blogs that I wish were mine, that is.

 

Goodness, and here’s me wondering why my motivation has run screaming towards the nearest exit.

 

In my head, my words sound so amazingly descriptive, bursting with humour or emotion; they still sound pretty good as I am typing them. So, what the hell happens between then, and when I read them? Because, I tell you, the words in my head do not correspond to the ones I read. Does a word-troll jump in and re-arrange them just to piss me off? What is that all about? Is it a recognised phenomenon? If not, perhaps we should invent one. Write up a Wikipedia page. Oh, hang on. Is there any way we can get around the writing bit? Not going down too well in these parts just now. What should we call this phenomenon? How about: “I think I am shit hot, when really I am just shit”. Yeah. That’ll work.

 

Perhaps I am getting it all wrong. Perhaps I need to stop reading my work back. Yes, maybe I am on to something. I could just bash out a post, and publish. Ta-da! Okay, I need to stop this now. I am just about to give myself a heart attack here. Not read back? No editing? Not going to happen. Most of the time I spend writing my blog posts is in the editing; over, and over, and over again. If I posted my first draft, people would stop reading after the first three words; or report me to the I’m-a-crap-writer police. I’d serve heavy time for my crime, for sure.

 

I know you can’t force the issue. I know.

 

And actually, writing about not being able to write, is oddly motivating. Like, if you are writing about not writing about something, you are not really writing at all, so therefore it doesn’t count. I will have to remember that one in the future.

 

 

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Words. Don’t come easy, to me….

  1. “Is there any way we can get around the writing bit?” — I have wondered the same thing. Something always sounds so brilliant and funny in my head and then I try to write it down and I want to throw up. I think I’ve written well if I don’t want to throw up. Isn’t there some device that can transfer your thoughts as you think them onto the page/screen? Oh, yeah…that’s called “writing”. I have been where you have been. I think every blogger has. If it’s any consolation, you wrote about writer’s block very well.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s